If you have ever felt misunderstood, you know the importance for people to understand you. Now understanding does not have to mean that you agree, or that you are an expert in what you are learning. Understanding is simply the basis of being aware of the possibilities around you and logically thinking about why an outcome occurred. Being able to see the differences among people and accepting them with reason leads to a better understanding. Here are 7 steps to assist you in understanding the people and things around you in a positive and beneficial manner.
Understand yourself better
In short, the reason why you may be unable to understand someone else's actions or opinions is because you do not fully understand yourself. If you do not have a clear understanding of why you think and act the way you do on a daily basis then how will you be able to understand someone else's actions?
The key to better understanding yourself is to look back on your experiences you have had throughout your life. Provide clarity in the opinions you have and connect reason to the actions you take. When we consciously start to evaluate our thought process it allows us to start to think about how other people may think. It is only then, when we start to realize that we are not so different after all. That there are reasons why we have differences in opinions and more importantly that it is okay to disagree. As long as we can understand the other side of the story we can start to compromise and work together, rather than creating conflict.
Avoid judgement or assumptions
We cannot simply stop our judgements, or keep away from assuming. But being aware of our judgements and how they may be keeping us from truly understanding is important. If we stop allowing our judgements to effect our actions, then we open ourselves to more learning opportunities. When we discredit people with a certain opinion that is different from ours, it creates a negative experience.
If we avoid people who are different than us, we keep ourselves from learning the full story and can possibly make us miss out on most of life. What if Romeo and Juliet never met because their differences were too vast? They would be missing out on true love. Moral of the story is that we cannot all be correct on every topic, or way of thinking. Opening up to contrasting opinions creates a learning opportunity and allows us to think more rationally, rather than emotionally.
present and active listening
Listening is not as simple as it sounds, at least not active listening. The way we listen to the radio may be different than the way we listen to our doctor. The difference is connecting thought to what we are hearing. We may not care about what advertisement a radio station is promoting, but if the doctor is telling us that our cholesterol is off the charts, then we start to think about how this is possible, and what steps we can take to lower it.
We should take this same type of thinking with us when we are listening to others voicing their opinions. Do not discredit a politician for having a different opinion than your own. Instead hear their reasoning behind their policies. Again we do not have to agree with everything we hear, but maybe it can help us better formulate our thought process. When we are present while listening we can start to use others thoughts to better understand and validate our own reasonings.
Dialog more, debate less
Chances are that you don't know everything. In fact the reality is, we know and understand a very small portion of everything there is to know. Keeping that in mind maybe its best practice to not always debate, or not always surround ourselves with people who think similarly. Sure having things in common with someone or a group of people creates a more feasible and natural relationship. But if we do not expand our curiosities it is impossible to reach our potential in understanding.
Dialog more, and debate less. Create meaningful conversation and actively listen to those spreading information. Then if the information you are hearing seems wrong or you disagree then instead of debating with them, try and understand the basis on their thinking. Come to a point of understanding rather than counting their opinions out all together. This way we expand on our knowledge and can start to build our foundation of thinking to formulate new thoughts and ideas that have not been considered before.
Ask the right questions
Believe it or not there is an art to asking questions. Not only do you want to ask the right amount of questions but you also need to be mindful of which questions you ask. Most questions come naturally either out of curiosity or for a lack of knowledge. But you want to make sure questions don't come offensive or sound like you are not listening to them.
Be tactical with the types of questions you ask, and more importantly think about which answer you are looking for. An example may be if you are talking with a financial advisor and you want to maximize your investments. Instead of asking the question "how can I make the most money?" ask "what are my options for the best return on investment?". This way instead of getting one option which may be risky in order to get the most reward. You phrase it in a way to explore your options to have a better understanding and also tells the advisor you want to be informed about how your funds are invested.
Be open minded
Being open minded may be the most important step to have a complete understanding of your surroundings and the people you come in contact with. Being open minded takes conscious effort. It is so easy to discredit an opinion that rivals your own, but the fact is there is truth in every thought. People are right in their own mind and it's only through the conscious effort will we be able to see and connect with others point of view.
Open minded is more than just keeping your thoughts unbiased, it's also about opening yourself to new experiences. Being open minded is a mind set that you carry with you everyday, being completely open to new ways of thinking and new ways of living. Next time you come across a situation which is slightly different than your normal routine, DO IT! Whether you get a positive or negative experience from it at least you are expanding your knowledge to better understand the true meaning of living.
Spread the knowledge you receive positively
Understanding is not always about you. Understanding is a process where people create a network of ideas and opinions which work together to create a collective understanding of one another. It is important not to keep your knowledge away from the people around you. The only way for everyone to truly understand is by spreading your ideas and being open to the ideas of others.
Understand that your thoughts are only valid if other people can see the basis of your ideas. People these days are more anxious about expressing themselves or their ideas and this is what will stunt the growth of society. Be open to others, share ideas, connect with people. We all make up the standard of living and it's always important to be heard, that way we can start to create an ideal world not only for ourselves but for those around us.
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